A Life Update through poetry

Five years I felt the pain of sorrow

And now I feel like its repeating itself.

The strings of my heart are being tugged

Even now I am hiding it from human’s eyes.

I had shut the world out.

Being a timid and emotionless person was easy to be.

I was safe.

I kept people safe from my uncontrollable emotions

Now I still hide in that shell.

Afraid of what people would say if I told them the truth

Would they care less?

Or just laugh at me?

Pity me?

I’m just a hidden shell of insecurities and trust issues.

From losing a loved one. To losing a close friend who was almost like sister.

Now knowing a childhood friend is gone away

And will be only seen them until I be in the grave.

I am afraid. I will never open up again. Afraid I will be my old self.

Being that awkward teen who only hanged out with her older brothers’ friends.

Confused who to talk to.

I am lost soul.

You look at me online and see me as outgoing.

But in reality, its all lies.

You would think I would cried over the sorrow I experienced

But I hid it under my skin

Until the sadness became nightmares and hallucinations

I think something wrong with me.

Why do I cry when I laugh?

And not when I am sad.

Is something wrong with me?

I probably should see someone for this.

But even again, they will probably put me on meds

And I can’t have that again.

I have seizures when I was a child.

And barely survived the daily medicine I had to take.

It was not bad.

But to have a repeated past

would honestly break me.

Seeking God is my top priority 

Praying and reading the bible is my only comfort now.

I pray and dream of the day I will be outgoing for only a moment.

But that seems so far away.

Now I must wait for the plans He has for me.



The Selection Series Review

Welcome back, owlnerds. Another book series done!! I started this series in May of 2017 and finally finished it March of 2019.

The Selection series by Kiera Cass is about a girl named America Singer who gets selected to be part of a selection. A selection is 35 girls from each caste is entered into a competition to win the prince’s hand in marriage.

Book 1: The Selection

Rating: Five Stars

Review:
This book cracked me up. The plot line is hilarious because when you sent girls to compete against anything really. Things can get pretty interesting. Maxon and America can relate so much to people I know in real life. When America talks with Maxon, I can see myself reacting the same ways she does to him. I can’t wait to read the next book in the series.

Book 2: The Elite

Rating: Four Stars

Review: N/A I am honestly confused because I can’t find my review anywhere. 😦

Book 3

Rating: Three Stars

Review: N/A
Same thing!! I am honestly confused because I can’t find my review anywhere. 😦

Book 4: The Heir

Rating: 3.9

Review: My rating is a 3.9. I actually like this book more the original series. The romance and connection Eadlyn and Kile is basically copy of Aspen and America and hate that. Why? I just don’t understand it. Still waiting for more Hale scenes, just saying.

Also it’s no surprise that destroying the caste would make a worst problem than having castes. Maybe the ending was bit overwhelming of course, it’s no surprise since the Elite’s ending was too far fetch as well. I will probably read The Crown so that go an overall book series.

Book 5: The Crown

Rating: 3.9

Review: Another 3.9 stars. I was going to give this book a full four stars but honestly the first plot twist caught me off guard and really feel like was forced or the author just did it to please her fans. Why? I don’t understand.

Overall rating of the series: 3.9

Review:

Lets begin. I loved the first book. A dystopian young adult that isn’t the Hunger Games, point taken. The characters related to people, I know in real life. Then as the book went down the liking of the series went down slowly. The “love triangle” between Maxon and Aspen was a bit much. America indecisive for both of them. Then the last two books are about America’s oldest daughter. I actually enjoyed this books more the original series minus the sodomite couple in the last book. I don’t know if this is true or not but it felt thought the author was pressured into represent the sodomite community. Either way, the couple didn’t have purpose at all really. The choose that Eadyln picked makes no sense. She doesn’t really she has feeling for him until the last three chapters of the book. She is so focused on Kile who basically another Aspen that she is clueless of who to choose. I am like what? I really feel like the book was rushed. This is my opinion would not consider this book series clean. Its clean that most books today. In the romance, they are mentions of kissing on lips, cheek, and hands. There is some scenes that possible making out but that in no detail. I actually not sure what the scenes were fully about, but I would lean in that direction. There is some mention of cursing. Overall the series was alright, not my favorite. Recommended for 15+.

🙂 Thanks for reading!!

A poem: A Crush

People say you don’t know love

But you say you do

Looking at your sweetheart

Through the corner of your eye 

But not saying a word 

Not thinking one thing 

Except maybe I’m in love.


Maybe it’s not love

But liking that special someone

Or avoiding that person

For long periods of time

Since you are afraid 

Of what she or he will say.

Maybe its a category of love

Maybe just maybe?

Maybe I know nothing of love

Since I never been 

In a relationship?

Maybe I am clueless 

To even notice a difference

Between like or love

Maybe I’m dumbstruck

Maybe or maybe not?

Love is this thing

Which so hard

To explain

And songs can never explain it

Even if they tried.

Or maybe I am just losing it

And never will experience

This thing we call love. 

Maybe or maybe not? 

A Friend in Need

Welcome back, owlnerds. Here is the first story, I ever wrote. It’s called A Friend in Need. Enjoy!

One evening, a squirrel was working in his garden. When he saw a small mouse digging up some of his celery. He yelled, “Get away from there, you mongrel.”

The mouse replied, “Please don’t harm me, I’m just a poor tiny girl.”

When the squirrel saw this, he answered, “I’m sorry that I yelled at you. What is your name?”

Then the mouse said, “My name is Peach.”

The squirrel said, “My name is Kirby. Do you want to be my friend?”

“Sí, I will be your friend,” Peach remarked.

Soon they become best friends.

Two months later, a storm flooded Peach’s house and she suffered a great deal of thirst and hunger. But that didn’t stop Kirby, he immediately came to her house and fed her a loaf of bread, some berries, nuts, cherry wine pop, and some blankets for her warmth. She thanked him for everything,

Soon, Peach was too old to live in the great woods that she was going to find a mate and live in the city. But, Kirby would not let her because he loved her since he first sat eyes on her.

So, one spring day, Kirby went to see Peach to say good-bye but before he could go to her house. The door opened and he saw Peach wearing a beautiful white wedding dress with roses and a straw bonnet with a sewed flower on the side. He was about to declare something.

But, Peach replied, “I found a mate that is a friend of mine.”

“But who,” Kirby asked.

“You, Kirby, I will live with you as long as I exist,” Peach remarked.

Two hours later, they got married and left the great woods to go to Paris, France. They wished their friends and had grand life as they did.

The controversial topic of the use of language.

Hello owlnerds, this post is different than usual. Here is a disclaimer:

Its been a while since I wrote a blog post. So I wrote this post on Saturday, late at night. A time of day where I like to question and debate on worldly problems.

Good evening, owlnerds. Here is this blog post. I literally just wrote. Let me know side are you on in the comments down below.

This blog post will be the “death” of me, but you know it does have some truth to it. I know that writing this will not change something but at least, you guys might understand. The thing is I question but understand why they think certain words are bad and others are not. When you are listening to a radio and they cut something out and you question what it is and realize its a bad word but then some songs curse but they don’t cut it that. Like why? I know we live in a dark world where people hate God but still really? It saddens me that kids have to listen to and think it’s a good thing you should say those words.

And there are books, movies, and tv shows. And if you watch Stranger Things and haven’t turned off, like why? I watched like 5 minutes of it and realize the kids in were cursing and saying almost every bad word (f-word, h-word, b-word, etc.) Really why? People say they watch or do you some pretend you don’t hear it. Really? Whenever I watch something, I count every bad word and when I am sick of it, I turn it off.

Then there are books. When I rate a book and there is a certain amount of bad words especially cursing, I go down a star in my rating. There is one book I would like to point out and I know people will dislike because of it but going to do it anyway. This book is Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell. I am not ratting the author but if you notice the excessive swearing in the first ten pages, it really saddens me. And of course, most books are like this. I am just stating an example.

We live in a world where people don’t take care of what say, write, etc. It really is sad. This is Sunny on late-night blog debate on the use of language. Thank you and good night.

Show Raw Emotion

Welcome back, owlnerds. Its been awhile. I recently read a story from Olivia J. Bennett and made me realize we should express raw emotion. Real emotion. We should dig through all the thoughts and put them on paper. To have realistic characters, we need to understand what the character is going through.

And times, we don’t share this emotion or thoughts because it isn’t vital to the plot itself. Maybe it is.

Ex.

The world was collapsing and she with it. Gripping her cheeks as she screamed. It can be happening. He can’t be dead. Flashes of red, white, and blue covered the scene as everything happened so fast. Her body shook as paramedics began to talk to her as they questioned what just happened. Seeing blurrier figures walk toward him. She rose as she screamed at them. “Get away from him.” Her eyes looked behind her as some of the paramedics grabbed her as they pulled her into the ambulance. No, don’t dare put me in there. He needs me. He will wake up and will wonder where I. She slammed on the doors of the ambulance as they shut the door. “No, you fools. He needs me.” Falling to her knees as she continuously mumbled to herself, “No. He can’t be dead. No. He can’t die. I need him. What am I going to do without him.” (FYI, I was going to write a war battle scene, but since they were going to brutally wound description. I gave you this emotional sad scene.)

Raw Emotion or Show not tell. I currently question whether or change my title. Just trying to show some originality or attempting to. What I stated before “we need to understand what the character is going through. ” I know people say you need the experience to write certain things. I usually imagine what if I was in that situation what would I do. Or if you can’t do that, ask someone. I am sure someone could tell what they would do or feel in that situation.

I know for a fact that showing and telling is difficult even I struggle with it. I think if we write one step at a time. I know you want to finish your draft as soon as possible well I was there too. If we take each scene slowly and feel like the character themselves we will have less editing to do.

That is all for today’s post. Let me know, what you would like to see next.

Top Ten Books of 2018

Read here if you wish to see what I read in 2018. Welcome back, owlnerds. So I decided to share my top ten books I read last year in no order what so ever. 🙂

  1. Fire and Ice: Elementals by Erin Forbes (Review:
    I finished this book in less than 5 hours. Wow. It’s been a very long time since I read a novel in a day. The book itself reminded me a lot of X-men, Harry Potter, and Miss Peregrine’s Home of Of Peculiar Children… It’s probably just me then 😅. LOVE THIS BOOK!)
  2. Fawkes by Nadine Brandes Find the review here
  3. The Coronation by Livy Jarmusch (Review:
    Wow, just wow. I literally had to lay in bed for a few minutes to return back to reality. This book, just wow. I still questioned why I didn’t read this and why it took so long to read it. The family theme was amazing. I can’t wait to read the sequel. So many emotions, I can’t even describe how much I enjoyed this book. 😀 )
  4. Disowned by Sarah Addison Fox (Review:
    One word: Mick. I probably fell for him a bit too fast. But come on. He is caring and protective towards Celeste. This would have been a quick read but sometimes I slow down my reading because there are only the first time reactions in reading something. Now on my top ten books this year.)
  5. The Theif, The Damsel, and The Dragon by Angela Watts
  6. The Reluctant Godfather by Allison Tebo (Review:
    Love this books so much. Burndee is so humorous. It’s the best. Reminds me of someone, me. 😛 I loved the twist at the very end. I almost forgot to eat something as I was too consumed by this book.)
  7. Not by Sight by Kate Breslin (Review can be found here)
  8. Love Defined by Kristen Clark, Bethany Baird
  9. Beasts of Extradorinary Creatures by Ruth Emmie Lang (Review can be found here)
  10. Martin Hospitality by Abigayle Claire (Review:
    This book is to die for… of course not literally. Gemma is a teen mother to be. With a horrible past, she meets the Martin’s who change her life completely. The Martin’s are a country living Christian family.
    This book was balanced with description. Each background of each character was balanced as well. I loved how certain characters tied well with Gemma’s past. Loved how the story didn’t end after Gemma giving birth. Josiah was probably my favorite character. Not only is he protective of his siblings but he didn’t even think of Gemma’s past to be kind to her. I honestly think we need more men like Josiah. This book is probably my favorite so far for this year. Love it so much. )

Thanks for reading! See you next week, owlnerds. 🙂

Most anticipated reads

Welcome back, owlnerds in today’s most I decided to share books I am most excited about. Enjoy!

Live without You by Sarah Grace Grzy

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Synopsis:
Piper Redding is a loner, but lonely. Everyone she loves has abandoned her and opening her heart to others is just asking for more pain. She can’t help but blame herself for her brother’s tragic death six years ago, and in her guilt, she shuts herself off from the world. No one could love her—not even the God who promised to be there for her but wasn’t. 

For paramedic Ezra Bryant, failure is not an option. He’s had enough of it, and only by God’s grace is he able to put it behind him. But when a traumatic event brings Piper’s greatest fear and Ezra’s failures to light, can they use that event to allow God to mend their broken pieces? Can love triumph over fear, and grace over guilt?  Will be published: Jan. 22, 2019

Romanov by Nadine Brandes

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Synopsis:
The history books say I died.

They don’t know the half of it.

Anastasia “Nastya” Romanov was given a single mission: to smuggle an ancient spell into her suitcase on her way to exile in Siberia. It might be her family’s only salvation. But the leader of the Bolshevik army is after them . . . and he’s hunted Romanov before.

Nastya’s only chances of survival are to either release the spell, and deal with the consequences, or enlist help from Zash, the handsome soldier who doesn’t act like the average Bolshevik. Nastya’s never dabbled in magic before, but it doesn’t frighten her as much as her growing attraction for Zash. She likes him. She thinks he might even like her . . .

That is, until she’s on one side of a firing squad . . . and he’s on the other. Will be Published: May 7th, 2019

Uprising by Ivie Brooks

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Synopsis:
If you had to choose between freedom or safety, what would you pick? 

Nothing will ever be the same.
Everything around us is crumbling.
I have to fight to protect everything I love.
But fighting might only mean the end of everything.

Fate has a way of playing games, breaking us down into pieces.
I won’t stay down, not without a fight. 
And if it means losing it all, I know we will still rise.

If you had to choose between everything you care about or the safety of everyone else, what would you decide? 

I didn’t want this life for everyone when it already changed mine. 
It seems it was inevitable.
No one wants to sit and let this happen to everything we know.
I’ll never have normal. 
I don’t even know what it means.

I know I’m at risk of losing everything, but we have to win this war.
It’s not about the battle we lose or the one we win.
It’s about the aftermath. 
And if it means losing it all, I know we will still rise. Will be Published August 2019

The Wedding by Livy Jarmusch

Synopsis: N/A

Will be Published: N/A

This is the last book to her series. I am still waiting for the cover reveal and such.

Shadows in London by Victoria Lynn

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Synopsis:
In the wake of the Titanic’s sinking, all of England is in unrest and nothing is as it seems.
Widowed landlady Mrs. Vivian Hobbs, has grown resigned to spending the rest of her life alone. But suddenly she is faced with an alternative she never could have expected.

Officer William Ridley is consumed by his occupation, but when the unstable foundation upon which he has built his life gives way, despair takes hold.

Retired Detective Harlow Doyle can’t seem to stay retired. When he lands in the hospital due to his need to help, he must seek the assistance of his friends to solve a case that grows more dark and ominous as the days pass.

A missing persons case, an uncertain romance, and a dangerous gang draw their lives inexorably together, sweeping them into a sea of uncertainty.

Will the shadows in London engulf them all? Or will the Light of Christ scatter the darkness?
Will be published: One day

Open Your Horizons

Greetings, owlnerds! It’s the first blog post of 2019. This year will be a crazy year. I plan on finishing my rewrites by the end of March. So I take the next big step toward publishing. More info for that will come soon. For today’s post, I am telling myself and all that we should expand our research, our ideas, and development of worlds. Enjoy!!

As I walk around a bookstore staring at books besides the classics. I see heavy duty romance, stories of assassins, and the chosen one. Popular books and over-hyped books. As writers, we should expand our ideas above the horizon. We usually get our ideas from other popular books.

As a fantasy writer, myself. I enjoying my setting be based in the medieval times, of course. I chose this setting because I am inspired by Tolkien. I decided to expand my imagination by modernizing it. Still medieval themes with several adjustments.

We should start looking back at the basics. We could do some retelling with biblical characters, fairy tales, mythology, etc. We should take events in history and create our own worlds. We should use politics as a means of ideas. We need to observe people more. We should watch the behavior of how people react to certain things. We should listen to how people talk. We should notice more carefully how the world around us works. We should notice how each season changes to the next. We should notice how certain people dress. We should study other people’s cultures. We should notice the different landscape other countries have.

The main reason for this blog post is to stop looking at the screen for an answer and observe the world a little more each day. See ya soon.

Books 2018

Merry Christmas Eve!!! We have one more day, owl nerds before Christmas. Wow. It’s been a crazy year. I decided to challenge myself this year to read a hundred books. I have surpassed that challenge by reading hundred-two books. Here are all the books I read this year. 🙂

January Books

  1. Esther Ashton’s New Dress by Kellyn Roth
  2. Sweet Tea and Jesus Shoes by Deborah Smith
  3. Caesar’s Gallic War by Julius Caesar
  4. Reread: Caesar’s Gallic War by Julius Caesar
  5. The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis
  6. The One by Kiera Cass
  7. The Elite by Kiera Cass
  8. Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier

February Books

  1. The Maze Runner by James Dashner
  2. Red Boots by Kate Willis
  3. Coffee Cake Days by Amanda Tero
  4. Enjoy the Poddle Skirt by Kate Willis
  5. A New Life by Rebekah A. Morris
  6. Forget Not by Rebekah A. Morris
  7. Martin’s Hospitality by Abigalyn Claire
  8. Songs in Our Memories by R.A. Rooney
  9. Journey by R.A. Rooney
  10. The Art of Thankfulness by R.A. Rooney
  11. Colors of Fear by Hannah Heath

March Books

  1. London in The Dark by Victoria Lynn
  2. Wolf Claw by Jes Drew
  3. For Writers Only by Sophie Burnham
  4. Beasts of Extraordinary Creatures by Ruth Emmie Lang
  5. 1 Peter
  6. Left to Die by Hailey Rose
  7. Poison Kiss by Kendra E. Ardnek
  8. Winter is Past by Rebekah A. Morris
  9. Christmas At Pebble Creek by Vannetta Chapman
  10. James
  11. Malachi
  12. The Lady of Vineyard by Kellyn Roth

April Books

  1. Lullabies for Little Hearts by Carol Smith
  2. The Twilight Terror by Gabriella Slade
  3. Rebel of The Sands by Alwyn Hamilton
  4. The Evolution of Calpurnia Tate
  5. How I had Fun Writing 10 Novels in 13 Months by Sarah Addison Fox

May Books

  1. Twinepathy by C.B. Cook
  2. Henry VIII by Shakespeare
  3. Even the Beasts by Rebekah A. Morris
  4. Cinder by Marissa Meyers
  5. The Notes in Our Hearts by Gabriellyn Gidman

June Books

  1. The Bachelor Missions by Jes Drew
  2. The Princess and The Goblin by George MacDonald
  3. Reread: The Notes in Our Hearts by Gabriellyn Gidman
  4. Job
  5. Matched by Allie Condie
  6. Not by Sight by Kate Breslin
  7. All the Way by Loraine Haynes

July Books

  1. When Beauty Blooms by Victoria Lynn
  2. His Mighty Acts by Rebekah A. Morris
  3. The Key to the Chains by Allison Tebo
  4. Inkheart by Cornelia Funke
  5. The Treasure Hunt by Kate Willis
  6. The Thief, The Damsel, and The Dragon by Angela R. Watts
  7. The Good Neighbor by A.J. Banner
  8. Gather Around the Fables by Erika Matthews
  9. Gather Around the Fables Collection by Erika Matthews
  10. The Celestial Road by Nathaniel Hawthorne

August Books

  1. Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery
  2. Show Me by Gabriella Slade
  3. The Summer of Eleanor Maglina by Hadassah Schaap
  4. I Don’t Dance by Jessica Wheaton
  5. Maggie’s Hope Chest by Amanda Tero
  6. Andora’s Folly by Abigayle Claire
  7. Shower Thoughts by Gray Marie Cox

September Books

  1. Skies of Dripping Gold by Hannah Heath
  2. Shallows by Denver Evans
  3. The Saddle Daddy Rode by K.M. Weiland
  4. C.S. Lewis on Faith by C.S. Lewis
  5. A Question of Honor by Jessica Wheaton
  6. The Coronation  by Livy Jarmusch
  7. The Way to Go by Rebekah A. Morris
  8. The Reluctant Godfather by Allison Tebo
  9. Goldfish Secrets by Kellyn Roth
  10. Disowned by Sarah Addison Fox
  11. Every Hidden Thing by Kenneth Opal
  12. Daisy by Riley Rawls

October Books

  1. Candle in the Darkness by Lynn Austin
  2. The Dressmaker’s Secret by Kellyn Roth
  3. Give Attendance by Rebekah A. Morris
  4. Chariots of Fire by William J. Weatherby
  5. The Rebellion by Livy Jarmusch
  6. Ephesians

November Books

  1. Fawkes by Nadine Brandes
  2. The Fisherman and His Wife by Jacob Grimm
  3. East O’ the Sun and West O’ the Moon by Peter Christen Asbjornsen
  4. Faithful by Rebekah Morris
  5. The Open Window by Saki
  6. Love Defined by Kristen Clark
  7. Philippians
  8. Fire And Ice by Erin Forbes
  9. Homeward by Angela R. Watts
  10. Love Blind by Angie Thompson
  11. Lessons by Angie Thompson
  12. Rainbow Garden by Patricia St. John

December Books

  1. Forbidden Wish by Jessica Khoury
  2. Ruth
  3. Finding Violia: A Short Story by Bo Burnette
  4. The Rebel by Nicole Sager
  5. Unto Him by Rebekah Morris
  6. Flames of Courage by Hannah Heath
  7. Blood Moon Redemption by Judy DuCharme