Judge Not


“But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart”- 1 Samuel 16:7

Stop looking at the outer appearance and look at the person’s character/personality, the words and actions, they say and do. Because that is the only way to live. This is how I live. I don’t judge. I show kindness because everyone is equal. We were related through Adam, the first human, God created. That is not why I am not a “feminist”, why I don’t hate on men. Why I refuse the word, racist. Why do people judge what someone looks like? Its disguising and unlike Christ. Racist for me is hate and as a Christians, we should love everyone because everyone is a sinner. Everyone is put into the a state of brokenness because of sin. Everyone is hurting inside. This is I show kindness to everyone. Kindness is the best thing you can give anyone. Its makes them smile. Its shows them the love of Christ.

For me, this is how I choose friends. And yes, I have judged people, I stood myself on pedestal and thought I was better than anyone else. I stopped myself. We are only human. People have feelings. Would you like someone to judge you on how you judge them? Stop being judgmental. Show love. Show kindness.

I thank people who work for the people. Retail (cashiers, sales associates), food industry (fast food workers, waiters, chefs). Sure, they are others but those who I see on a daily basis. I say hello, thank you, have a great day. I say these things not because its manners but because I want to. I want to show kindness. I want to show love.

“For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God” – Romans 3:23

I don’t care if you are black, white, Asian, South American, gay, or transgender. Why would you be kind to some of those people? They are sinning against God. We are all sinning and sure, some sins are worst than others but doesn’t give us the right to look down on them on pedestal. Its makes us like the rabbis who judged Jesus on His life on earth. Do you want to known as hypocrites?

Today, society makes fun of people’s appearance. Its like its hilarious. Lets make fun of plus sizes, skinny people. They are human too. Your words hurt people. They can cause self harm, beating down someone’s confidence, and some cases, suicide. Remember that each person you interact with is a human and they are have feelings.

Show love. Not hate.

Thanks for reading!!

Relationship Advice


Someone told me, I shouldn’t give out advice in relationships because I never have had a boyfriend. But I have seen people. I have observed people, I know the way they act, how they talk to each other, and how they touch one another. Many of them are married now and are excepted a child or have a kid or two. Maybe its because I never had my heart ripped in half. Or felt betrayed or abandoned. Never been cheated on. Or never had the feelings of butterflies in my stomach.

Ok, I am leaving the chat but guess what I am not leaving. Sure, never I had one but I probably know what a relationship should be. Yes, I have expectations and yes, I know none of my expectations will happen. And no, I am not waiting for a Prince Charming. I’m not looking for someone right now. I taking care of myself first.

There are so many types of relationship but for today, I am talking about the romantic kind. Yeah, the relationship between a boy and girl. That one, the one I avoid talking it. I gag at the sight of it and then sometimes I wish I had a boyfriend. What is wrong with my brain???

But guess what? I know what a real relationship is. I observe and notice things. I notice that girls and guys get jealous. I can see a bad relationship on how they act toward other people. I notice the marks, their significant other gives. The bad. The good. I know what a true relationship and I know that sex has nothing to do with it. Surprise, I am not idiot. No applause.. Go figure.. I kid. I kid. Sort of.

Ok, a relationship. A romantic relationship is something is so rare because its different for everyone. People have only one boyfriend. Or people have several. People date for only a year and then get married. Some people date for years before marriage comes in mind. Some people just date for years and never think about marriage. I would tell you what I prefer but this post is not about me telling what I prefer. Maybe another time. Another post.

Ok, what I believe a relationship should be.

A relationship, a communication bond with two people. Honesty is key for any relationship but it is vital for this relationship. Because without it, how are you to trust your second half?

Doubt fills the air and then you question if your other is cheating, lying.

Honesty something that allows you to open up. The little things that you will open to and be so happy more as you share with your partner.

Then there is trust, if you have honesty, you will have trust. So when something happens, you know you have each other’s back. Sure, they will be times, you or your partner will not be there for you right away. Patience also is a key. They will come. They will comfort you. Don’t think they will comfort the way you want because everyone has a way of comforting. Some, do physical touch and others just comfort you with words.

Physical touch and affection. Touching the person you love is good because they know you care for them. At first the touch such like hand holding, fingers touching, hugging and the impossibly awkward, kissing. Sure, some people prefer to have their first kiss at their wedding but not everyone does that. Physical touch/affection is key.

Its surprising that long ago, people were forced to be married off to strangers basically. And physical touch was like a forced interaction. Or there are some people who didn’t have their first touch until after the wedding. Touch can be awkward at first but its probably is the best thing in any relationship

Every day, we interact with other people, strangers at the store, our family and friends. But the best thing is when you can touch the person, you love. Because what if you couldn’t touch that person because of a sickness or touch was illegal. I know its not real but think hypothetically. Because with touch, how you comfort, love, and protect your significant other? Yeah, didn’t think about. Thank you, Five Feet Apart. Also thank you, for ripping my heart in half.

Today, the world thinks romance is a game and a toxic relationship is entertainment. They forget the importance of the relationship. Its not a relationship, its a desire. Its a want. I want you, I have to have you to be happy.

And then adultery is fun which its not. Its a sin. But if we look in society’s eyes, its fine. Its the best thing. Because who cares of the values of a relationship, because sex is the only thing is important. Then things happen and your significant other is pregnant and you are clueless how you provide for you and your love.

This romantic relationship should be taken serious. It will change your life. It will shape your future.

Thanks for reading!

From the single girl, who pretends she is a relationship guru.

New Beginnings


Hello, owlnerds. I have decided to change the focus of this blog. I know. I know. I have been down in my game recently. I have been writing posts on poetry and such but don’t worry the change will boost my influence in my blog. and I will post once a week possibly twice a week.

For so long, I thought I could manage a book blog but recently I have been uninspired. So my blog will be dedicated to health, beauty, fashion, and books. My blog will always be a home for books but will not be a prime focus

And if you saw already, my new motto is “One step in the soul and one step out of the body.” The meaning behind is that I am focusing on myself and careless of the body. I am healing in a mental/spiritual journey. For the longest time, I thought of the negative thoughts but now I am looking for happier thoughts. Learning to love myself. The flesh is a dark place, so not allowing the body to take over me. To use my soul to guide me through God’s Word.

New Blog Schedule: Mondays and sometimes Fridays

To new beginnings. Thanks for reading!!!

Miss You: A Poem of Mine


Welcome Back, new poem… Its a deep one.

They tell us the best of things always disappear

I miss your smile, your laughter, your face, your grey hairs, your silly jokes

I miss the pineapple ice cream even when I refused it

I miss the long phone calls

I miss the dog that cared for you

I miss the cards of your kindness

I miss you

It broke me when you laid in the hospital bed

Blood filled your clots and you transformed into someone I knew not

The crazy things you spoke of. The best friend, you were. I miss you.

It shattered my soul when they told me 

You were gone. Gone. Gone. Those words repeated in my head.

I shook it off because I wouldn’t believe it

You were gone

And I couldn’t have said goodbye

I couldn’t say I will miss you

I couldn’t say anything

My world tumbled to the ground

And I hid away

Hid the burn, the sting, the tears

I shut people out

The people, I actually cared for

Everything disappeared


When I finally  got up

Everything was gone

And I was left with hallucinations and nightmares

Lost friends, lost words, lost things

I had to act like everything ok even when I felt weakest.

I had to be bold even when I wanted so badly to hit a wall. Scream.

I had to continue the act and pretend.

It has been five years since you left us, left me.

And don’t know if I will ever see you again

You joked about those things

You joked that you knew Him

 But were you afraid of death?

Afraid of the punishment, He would bestow on you

All these thoughts sting me

It’s burning a little more every day

Why I closed the mentioning of your name

Because of the nightmares

Why did you leave me? 

Why you make me sad?

You left this world and left me

Abandoned me

I miss you

I miss you, Captain Nemo

I miss you, Grandpa

I miss you, Grandfather

I miss you, Grandpa Dobie.

I miss you….

Why do you hate yourself?


I dug myself into a hole and I don’t how to get out. So hide the pain. Hide the tears. Hide the fear. Hide myself from everything around me. I use only distractions to cover my hatred of my own body. I use blood to be my satisfaction. But why? They say because its safer. It safer. People don’t care.

This is what people say to themselves. Before things worse and they hit depression, self harm and some cases: suicide.

Although it feels like people don’t care, God cares. He cares because He made you. He loves. Despite the sin we created, He loves you. He cares about you. Even if you are not made perfect. He created you to live. He created to smile and love Him.

Society wants a perfect body frame, a flawless skin. Perfect clothing attire, silky smooth hair. You are not allowed to have scars, imperfections. You have to be perfect. No thigh gap, no double chin. No wrinkles. Next thing you know, you are at a cosmetic surgeon and wanting to get the surgery done to be “perfect.” No human is perfect even after you have surgery, you notice more things you hate. Don’t feel like you were born in the wrong body. You are beautiful. You are amazing. You are different and it’s ok if you are different. Dress like you want to. Talk with truth. Laugh like no one is watching. When society tells you to do something always do the opposite. 

If you feel alone, you are not. You are someone and you are worth living.

Society is messed up. Its a temptation trap. It pushes you to the edge and the world begins to cave in. It digs to the root of your insanity. They tell you to be the best to be successful. Is to have a great job. To go to college. To be in a relationship. To have kids.

And sure, I have mention it before but we have to hear this. People need to know the truth. The brutal truth. Even if it pushes society off the edge. You can’t stop running. You are worth it. Put down that weapon that makes you bleed. Someone is think you are worth fighting for. Even in the world is crumbling. Don’t stop believing. Don’t stop hoping.

Why my current WIP is not Christian Fiction?


I am a Christian and I don’t label my current WIP as Christian . Here is why..

My story, currently titled Fallen World is not Christian Fiction but does mention God, adoption, and salvation but I do plan on publishing this book traditional and I know for sure the publishers will not label my story as Christian.

There is nothing bad in the story. There really isn’t any romance. I don’t swear/cuss in the story. Its really the graphic side of it and the deep themes I go into.

There are several scene where I go into detail about things most people don’t want to talk about. I mention the inside of an abortion clinic, small summary of what the abortion process is, a go into detail of a house that once was used for sex trafficking, the problems against it, a speech of ex. sex assault victim, and the criminals for sex assault.

I mention the LGBT community but the darker side of it all.

The plot of the story is basically if we reversed certain laws back to illegal but would happen. A rebellion against the people against the government aka America rebelling against the Truth.

There is violence along with the graphic detail. There are gun shootings and others things I haven’t plot out or brainstormed yet. Its a bit the adult fiction side of things. Unless you like violent books.

Would you consider this Christian? Because I honestly don’t. Let me know in the comments below.

Last night, I hit 100 followers on this blog and to celebrate I am going share a snippet of my story… Enjoy!!

Metal cages were shook and we slide away from each other. Slipping as we raced toward each other but failing miserably. Thud! My head pained me as I touch my forehead. Blood drips from my head and I notice everyone was caught by a net and somehow I missed the mark. 

“Attention.” Heaving stomping and a woman speaks and my head spins as blood splashed everywhere. 

That woman is not from around here. Her pale skin. Brunette hair. What is she wearing? A suit. I thought men wear them. 

“It has come to my attention, aliens.”

I pointed a finger at her and walked over to her as my friends stared at me. “Aliens, the aliens? You might think you so high and mighty but no you are a stranger here. You invade our land for some reason, I have no idea. You cage us for fun. Are you planning on trafficking us next? Please hun, I am bleeding to death.”

Click. Click. She walked toward me with those devilous pointed heels. “Excuse me, and who are you?”

I reached my hand toward her but pulled away back in place as she stared me down. “Well, not friendly then. Estella and who might you be?”

“Officer Dipper.”

I laughed and knew it was a fatal mistake. Bang! I looked behind me as one of my friends fell. Something fell across the room and hit her in the gills. Water spilled out as she fell forward and then the rush of green blood came next. Panicking as no one moved. My eyes looked up as Kaius’ mouth was open and he stood in shock. I scrambled over and pressed my fingers into her wound. My reflexes jointed as I could feel a vomit coming but pushed it down. Naida was more important. A cold took over me as I watch her blood and water freeze. I looked up as Officer Dipper raised eyebrow. “Kaius help me, you idiot.”

His head shook as I rolled my eyes. Pushing through the crowd, I watched him take Naida from me. “Estella, what are you planning? There is no way out.”

“Oh, darling. You know nothing.”

Dipper crossed her arms. “And what do you plan on doing, alien?”

“My name is Estella, stupid.” My eyes widened as the bleed that once dripping from my forehead disappeared and the thing replaced it was a frozen icicles. Shattered as red icicles fell from my head. “That’s new.”

Officer Dipper snapped her fingers as people of some sort came in. They wore rubber spandex suits. Astronauts, a thing of myths. “Kill her.”

Thanks so much for reading!!!

One of the rawest things I will ever publish


This collection of works, I plan on publishing mid September. The truest and rawest things I have ever written. Poems that showcase my struggles through the years, the loss of a childhood friend , and a family member. A best friend to friend and now to acquaintance. My feelings of breaking free from a crush. Liking someone who I will have to avoid even more since I did send this collection of works to him. Because for some reason, I was brave enough to do that. Now wishing I should go back in time and reverse everything. Yeah, now to wait for his reply. The worst moments for the rest of my life.

(If you are reading this, and you know who I am talking about it and if this thing I wrote for is real. And my feelings are real. And now I am currently hate myself. And if this things blooms into something more. I was the first to tell my feelings and not you. Yeah.. email or text me instead of talking to me because I will probably avoid you for the rest of my life. And no, I don’t hate you. I am afraid of embarrassing myself and looking like a complete idiot.

Poetry is probably the only time, you will see me be true of myself. To express my feelings to the public. A creative output that allows me go free verse. I am not afraid of what others think of my poetry. Its free and its my own. Be grateful, I don’t have a good voice because I could be singing my feelings. That pro in all of this.

Just wanted to tell you something about this collection of works. New post coming this Saturday.

Genre: Classics Book Marathon


And we are back!!!

As seen from the title, I am going on a classic book reading marathon. I have thirty something books minus Agatha Christie books, I have on my shelf. I am slightly those types of books. And here me, telling you what I define a classic book to be.

A classic book defined for me would a book written in the ancient times until 1980s. Sorry Harry Potter, you are not a classic in my books. Bye.. 🙂

I began to be obsessed with book genre of classics after taking Literature in High School. Thank Mrs. Bailey. Thank you.

There are rules, I plan on keeping while doing reading:

I am not allowed to quit reading a book. I must finish it fully. I can’t quit even if the story is slow, full of language and romance.

I have to rate the story and review it even if its just a sentence or two.

Here are all the books minus Agatha Christie, I plan on reading. There is no order in which I am reading them.

The Tell Tale Heart and Other Writings by Edgar Allan Poe

The Brothers of Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky

The Stubborn Heart by Frank G. Slaughter

Annie Jordan by Mary Brinker Post

The Curse of the Kings by Victoria Holt

Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell

Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens

A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

Little Women by Louisa Alcott

Little Men by Louisa Alcott

The Catcher of The Rye by J.D. Salinger

One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn

The Paradiso by Dante

All Creatures Great And Small by James Herriot

The Mill on the Floss by George Elliot

Middlemarch by George Elliot

War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy


Selected Lives And Essays by Plutarch

Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton

Black Beauty by Anna Sewell

Othello by Shakespeare

King Lear by Shakespeare

Chariots of Fire by W. J. Weatherby

Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift

The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom

The Merchant of Venice by Shakespeare

Hard Times by Charles Dickens

Not A Tame Lion by Terry Glaspey

Poetry of the New England Renaissance

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

O Pioneers by Willa Cather

Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe

Howard’s End by E.M. Forster

If you survived that list, make sure to follow my blog. I am so close to 100 followers. Bye. 🙂

Downton Abbey Series Review


All Spoilers are revealed. If you love Downton Abbey, leave now. This is dislike rant. A “hate” of this TV show. This is my opinions so you can dislike what I say but please don’t hate me in the comment section below. Lets begin..

Downton Abbey:

Downton Abbey is a historical period drama television series set in England in the early 20th century, created by Julian Fellowes and co-produced by Carnival Films and Masterpiece. (Wikipedia summary, not mine)

To describe the main characters in one word.

Robert Crawley: Pig, slut Reason: when his wife was sick, he decides to sleep with the lady’s maid, yikes.

Cora Crawley: Flirt

Lady Mary: Slut, Slut, and slut…. Sleeping with the foreign guy, he dies.. and then she is part of a scandal.. Sleeps with a man for a week and then refuses to marry him.. And somehow doesn’t sleep with the two people she marries… ok then…

Lady Edith: Adulterer and Blackmailer, She is a slut but didn’t choose to sleep with every guy she liked which was rare. First guy she sleeps with, gets pregnant, has a child and goes crazy and instead of telling her parents, she hides for the longest time only for the father found out last…

Lady Sybil: A “rebel”.. aka she married a man lower than her class… my favorite..

Footman Thomas: Gay, and no one is wants to tell the law but everyone knows he is gay.. ok then.


Sex scenes in detail, details mentioned above, maids hooking up with guests of their boss,

Sodomites: Thomas, footman, Philip, Duke of Crowborough

Everybody gets away. Edith gets her happy ending even when she tells the truth about her daughter

Love: Feud between Isobel and Violet


OTP John and Anna Bates

Lady Rose’s behavior

Rating the show: 2.9 star… I am not that heartless

I would recommend for those who would like to watch it.. be 18+.. The first episode surprised me when I first watched it.. If you enjoy BBC or Poldark and can surpass the inappropriateness of the show, you will probably like it.

What show or movie, should I review next?

In the comments below, let me what your review is on this show…

Dear Hollywood, get some new ideas. Sincerely everyone


Dear Hollywood, get some original ideas. Stop redoing the old movies. Midway, stop taking history and mixing it into your own way. Stop using musicals and turning them to movies. *coughs* Cats… yeah, I know what the original is, yeah, I know I am old.

Lets take Endgame Marvel. Instead of ending a franchise with that movie. Lets make Black Widow, all though the actress did say in the first making of Avengers, she didn’t want a movie but of course, we want more money. Lets add some marvel TV shows have more money. Like they don’t have enough money already.

So, we have no good ideas, so use death as entertainment. Its perfectly fine to use triggering topics like suicide, self harm, and depression. I know Netflix is not Hollywood but they make movies and for me anyone who makes money. Or I can use Me Before You since it was made by Hollywood. To summarize the movie: A romance between a caregiver and disabled man. Then at the end of story, the caregiver supports the disable man committing suicide. What? This love, people say. I am so confused. Then when you see on the news that a girlfriend is committed a crime when she pushes her boyfriend to commit suicide. I know not the same thing but sort of is. Its not realistic. And how is a great movie, hmm?

And then Netflix drama, I have. 15 Reasons Why…. After it aired, I heard on the news that teen girls were committed suicide and only later did the mourning parents find out its from this show.. And this show is great, how? Celebrities applauded it while kids are killing themselves. Like, am I the only one noticing that?

Then lets you get to the some way deeper.. toxic relationships…. And the movie, I am about mention is a rated R movie and no, I have never seen it and no I don’t plan on doing. The reasons I know of this movie is every since the movies came out, ads of it kept opening everywhere for it, TV commercials, or Pandora/YouTube/Spotify ads. I had to cautious when my siblings around making sure it was muted when the ad would show up. Fifty Shades of Grey. Summary basically: girl met rich boy, he tortures her through the movie, she thinks it love, they get married, and then he gets killed. I don’t get it. People love it. Its R movie, yes, but people loved it. But when in the news, people abuse other people, its a bad thing. And this is looked upon with great entertainment. Yeah.. get a better perspective Hollywood.

Even as a Christian, I know some people are sick of Hollywood’s ideas and perspective of things.

Don’t remake old movies, when you have no movie ideas. Don’t treat something dangerous as entertainment. Start asking the public what they would like for a movie. Maybe make book adaptions, people want to actually see.

Dear Hollywood, make get new ideas,