A Life Update through poetry

Five years I felt the pain of sorrow

And now I feel like its repeating itself.

The strings of my heart are being tugged

Even now I am hiding it from human’s eyes.

I had shut the world out.

Being a timid and emotionless person was easy to be.

I was safe.

I kept people safe from my uncontrollable emotions

Now I still hide in that shell.

Afraid of what people would say if I told them the truth

Would they care less?

Or just laugh at me?

Pity me?

I’m just a hidden shell of insecurities and trust issues.

From losing a loved one. To losing a close friend who was almost like sister.

Now knowing a childhood friend is gone away

And will be only seen them until I be in the grave.

I am afraid. I will never open up again. Afraid I will be my old self.

Being that awkward teen who only hanged out with her older brothers’ friends.

Confused who to talk to.

I am lost soul.

You look at me online and see me as outgoing.

But in reality, its all lies.

You would think I would cried over the sorrow I experienced

But I hid it under my skin

Until the sadness became nightmares and hallucinations

I think something wrong with me.

Why do I cry when I laugh?

And not when I am sad.

Is something wrong with me?

I probably should see someone for this.

But even again, they will probably put me on meds

And I can’t have that again.

I have seizures when I was a child.

And barely survived the daily medicine I had to take.

It was not bad.

But to have a repeated past

would honestly break me.

Seeking God is my top priority 

Praying and reading the bible is my only comfort now.

I pray and dream of the day I will be outgoing for only a moment.

But that seems so far away.

Now I must wait for the plans He has for me.



A poem: A Crush

People say you don’t know love

But you say you do

Looking at your sweetheart

Through the corner of your eye 

But not saying a word 

Not thinking one thing 

Except maybe I’m in love.


Maybe it’s not love

But liking that special someone

Or avoiding that person

For long periods of time

Since you are afraid 

Of what she or he will say.

Maybe its a category of love

Maybe just maybe?

Maybe I know nothing of love

Since I never been 

In a relationship?

Maybe I am clueless 

To even notice a difference

Between like or love

Maybe I’m dumbstruck

Maybe or maybe not?

Love is this thing

Which so hard

To explain

And songs can never explain it

Even if they tried.

Or maybe I am just losing it

And never will experience

This thing we call love. 

Maybe or maybe not? 

Show Raw Emotion

Welcome back, owlnerds. Its been awhile. I recently read a story from Olivia J. Bennett and made me realize we should express raw emotion. Real emotion. We should dig through all the thoughts and put them on paper. To have realistic characters, we need to understand what the character is going through.

And times, we don’t share this emotion or thoughts because it isn’t vital to the plot itself. Maybe it is.

Ex.

The world was collapsing and she with it. Gripping her cheeks as she screamed. It can be happening. He can’t be dead. Flashes of red, white, and blue covered the scene as everything happened so fast. Her body shook as paramedics began to talk to her as they questioned what just happened. Seeing blurrier figures walk toward him. She rose as she screamed at them. “Get away from him.” Her eyes looked behind her as some of the paramedics grabbed her as they pulled her into the ambulance. No, don’t dare put me in there. He needs me. He will wake up and will wonder where I. She slammed on the doors of the ambulance as they shut the door. “No, you fools. He needs me.” Falling to her knees as she continuously mumbled to herself, “No. He can’t be dead. No. He can’t die. I need him. What am I going to do without him.” (FYI, I was going to write a war battle scene, but since they were going to brutally wound description. I gave you this emotional sad scene.)

Raw Emotion or Show not tell. I currently question whether or change my title. Just trying to show some originality or attempting to. What I stated before “we need to understand what the character is going through. ” I know people say you need the experience to write certain things. I usually imagine what if I was in that situation what would I do. Or if you can’t do that, ask someone. I am sure someone could tell what they would do or feel in that situation.

I know for a fact that showing and telling is difficult even I struggle with it. I think if we write one step at a time. I know you want to finish your draft as soon as possible well I was there too. If we take each scene slowly and feel like the character themselves we will have less editing to do.

That is all for today’s post. Let me know, what you would like to see next.

Open Your Horizons

Greetings, owlnerds! It’s the first blog post of 2019. This year will be a crazy year. I plan on finishing my rewrites by the end of March. So I take the next big step toward publishing. More info for that will come soon. For today’s post, I am telling myself and all that we should expand our research, our ideas, and development of worlds. Enjoy!!

As I walk around a bookstore staring at books besides the classics. I see heavy duty romance, stories of assassins, and the chosen one. Popular books and over-hyped books. As writers, we should expand our ideas above the horizon. We usually get our ideas from other popular books.

As a fantasy writer, myself. I enjoying my setting be based in the medieval times, of course. I chose this setting because I am inspired by Tolkien. I decided to expand my imagination by modernizing it. Still medieval themes with several adjustments.

We should start looking back at the basics. We could do some retelling with biblical characters, fairy tales, mythology, etc. We should take events in history and create our own worlds. We should use politics as a means of ideas. We need to observe people more. We should watch the behavior of how people react to certain things. We should listen to how people talk. We should notice more carefully how the world around us works. We should notice how each season changes to the next. We should notice how certain people dress. We should study other people’s cultures. We should notice the different landscape other countries have.

The main reason for this blog post is to stop looking at the screen for an answer and observe the world a little more each day. See ya soon.

Realistic Checklist – 2019

It’s going to be a shorter post but its a great post. A little off my writing/book theme, but you know. My usual routine will return. So the end of the year is near, so I decided to give you a checklist of all the things I plan on doing the year of 2019. 

  1. Donate Blood. I have been avoiding doing this for the longest time. 
  2.  Go to a concert whether it be Lauren Daigle or King and Country.
  3. Travel. I will really be traveling to local cities and have adventures there. If I am lucky, maybe places that are up to seven hours to drive from home. I am basically broke bookworm/writer and visiting Europe is the last thing I need to do to break the bank. 🙂
  4. Do something spontaneous like ziplining or skydiving.
  5. Volunteer whether it be at a local animal center, library, etc.
  6. Take a self-defense class.
  7. Expand my wardrobe. Transform to that edgy boho style. 

Only seven things, why? I will actually do them, shockingly enough. I made a resolution of this year and failed greatly. I have learned from that lesson. Thanks for reading.

Don’t Hate Authors Part One

Sunny, why this? Because I am tired of people believing that an author stole a famous author/movie idea. Like the Eragon by Christoper Paolini debate. Did he copy and paste The Lord of the Rings? No. So he didn’t steal it. He was inspired by Tolkien. Like I am inspired by Tolkien, doesn’t mean I am going to copy and paste it. Good grief, people.

Mini Review of Eragon: Epic story because my favorite mystical creature is the dragon is in it. Take How to Train your Dragon, Dragonheart, and Tolkien and combined them together. I don’t understand the hate towards this book. Yes, the author uses elves and dwarves. I just don’t understand it all. It’s not like he completely copied and pasted the story and just changed some of the locations’ names and characters’. You can see the elements of Tolkien in it but some people. Other than that, I plan on reading the next book in the series.

Writers get inspired by stories but they have a unique writing process. Like right now, I noticed one of my stories may have been inspired by The Clerk’s Prologue/Tale in The Canterbury Tales. I am not copying the characters/plot. No. If anything, writers are writing clichés. Don’t point out the famous author’s names in your review, if you are going to hate on a writer.

Writers work on their projects for days, months, and years maybe. And next thing you know, you hate on their book. Sure, you can point out the true audience for that certain book such as rating the violence, romance, or etc. I do that. I am not hating the author. I am just pointing things for when a younger reader decides to read it. Aka safety warnings, nothing more. Nothing else.

Next time, you review a book. Rate the violence, language, and romance. Not rate how an author copied a popular idea. Please. Less hate. Readers are to support authors not to create graves for them.

Thanks for reading!

 

Seeking Alpha Readers

Welcome back, owlnerds. I am currently seeking alpha readers for a story I have been working on and off the past few years. Here is the excerpt of the first chapter. Enjoy!!! Comment down if you like to be part of my street team where you can help me promote it and even help me chose a cover.

Chapter 1

Ever since Odessa lost her mother, Odessa became accustomed to reading books and finding a way to pass the time. Many a day Odessa would hide in the throne room, disappearing from any thoughts of reality.

It was nearly noon and Odessa leaned forward once again in her golden throne. Trying to find the perfect place to read her book. She flicked her long black hair back. At times she despised her long locks, wishing they would leave her alone once in a while or she would never be able to finish her book. She knew that in due time, someone would notice her and all feelings of happiness would end. She parted her hair to the side and stretched her arms forward in her chair, covering her face from sight with her large leather book.

Feeling someone’s presence, she adjusted herself as she straightened her blue dress embroidered with golden spirals She also pulled her scarlet butterfly sleeves back into place. Making sure she looked proper enough. Her head turned as her cheeks reddened as a fire sparked inside of her.

The other person looked at her with a coy smile. She lifted her eyebrows up and stared at the young man. Her close friend, William stood before her. She noticed that William had recently shaved himself since there were fresh cuts on his chin and the side of his cheeks. One had to look closely to see it.

She noticed that his tunic had been recently washed for it didn’t smell of wet dog. Her eyes flicked as she noticed the scabbard that hung over his polished chain mail.

William smiled as well as he patted his scabbard which held carvings that Odessa made as a devotion of her love to him.  With him looking down at her, her own falsehood crashed down on her before she knew it. “So what were you doing?” he said.

Lowering her head as she sagged the book over her stomach as she “Me? I was doing nothing.” Her eyes lifted upward slightly as William had raised an eyebrow. She grunted.“Fine, I was hiding.”

“Hiding, what? Who were you hiding from?” He smiled with his dimples showing despite his disliking of them.

“People.”

He jerked his head back and cracked his neck.“People? No there has to be someone. Who is it?”

She sighed. “Sir Irwin.”

He gasped and covered his mouth as if he was surprised by her answer. “Him, why him?”

She frowned as she rubbed her hands together. “He is a bit creepy.”

“Creepy, how is he creepy?” He tilted his head to the side.

“He is so serious and he makes me nervous.”

He blinked his eyes. “Well.”

She stood up and turned around to place the book on the chair. She opened up her hands and he allowed her to come near. He held her and kissed her on the head. “Odessa, I love you.”

“ I love you too, William.” She kissed him back.

“So, if you had to choose to marry anyone, who would you marry?”

 

What a silly question to ask? She steepled her fingers. She didn’t say anything except that she kissed him on the cheek.

He raised his eyebrows. “So, do you want to go horseback riding?”

“Sure, if I can ride with you.” She smiled and placed her hand in his.

He squeezed her hand with a firm grasp. “Front or back?”

She tilted her head for a second and looked at him wide-eyed. “Hmm. I think I will try back.”

His eyes narrowed as his lips lowered in an inexpressive matter.

Her legs began to shake. Did I say something wrong? Why are you staring at me like that?

He laughed out loud and twirled her around. “Hope you don’t tickle me. Since you made me fall a few days ago.”

She stared at him intensely. “I promise I want.”

He grabbed her by the hand and began to pull her close. “William.No, don’t…”

He looked at her with a puppy face. “Please.”

She looked around the throne room. Checking to see if anyone was looking or had entered the room without her noticing it. “No one is around. If father comes, he would never trust me again. We must think of what we are doing. We shouldn’t be doing whatever we want to do. It will only make this silly matter between us worse.”

“Me, no?” He placed his hand to his chest with guilt in his eyes. “And besides, everyone knows except your father. Just calm down.”

Her eyes narrowed as she clenched into fists.“Father could have entered the room and you didn’t even think about it.”

“Stop worrying. Come on.” He clasped her hand in his and they walked out of the castle together.

Entering the royal garden, Odessa bumped into Clover. Clover was a short servant girl with wavy blonde hair. “Clover, what are you doing?

Odessa and William released their hands from each other and moved them to their back They grinned as if they were guiltless.

She curtsied and stared at William and Odessa with suspicion. “I was getting some flowers for your room. May I ask, princess, what were you deciding to do?”

“Horseback riding.” Odessa raised her eyebrows and tried not to look strange in any way.

Clover shook her head. “No, miss. Horseback riding is not on the to-do list today. You have sewing to catch up on, and we must discuss the coronation. It is only a few days away.”

“About that. Can we reschedule?” She smirked.

“No, miss. The king wants you to be educated.” Clover shook her head and squinted her eyes and stared at William.

Odessa placed her hand on her heart and smirked with pride.“Me, educated. I have books.”

Clover shook her head looking disgusted. “Books don’t teach everything.”

“Hey, take that back.” Odessa pointed a finger at her and then turned in it into a fist.

Clover thought otherwise. “No, women are to be at home instead of sticking their noses in a book.”

Odessa launched herself toward Clover with hands in a choking position.

To be continued…… If you enjoyed that much. Join my street team by comment down below. 🙂

My Stories

Welcome back, owlnerds. This week, I am sharing my stories.  Enjoy and let me know what story you excited to read. Or what project I should do next?

Contemporary Stories

Lynn: 

When one of Lynn’s friends disappears, she begins to track down her. Soon to discover a scandalous organization is behind all of it. Slowly killing each leader of the pack, she discovers her life is more threatened. Will she protect her friends or will she be the next victim?

Indian Gathering:

When an important day comes, her past returns to haunt her. Scrambling to discover the real truth of her past, she learns that not everyone close to her is worth the trust.  Is she self-doubting herself or is the past going to lose the reality of what is? Will she return t Io the heavenly Father she once believed? Or will fall back into the sin she was so consumed to trust?

Historical Stories:

The Raven’s Quill:

Azalea was never ready to be the woman. Her mother wanted her to be. Having grace and marrying into a wealthy family. She wants to enjoy life like it has always been. She wants to marry for true love. Lost in a world of men, Azalea must choose the right path. A path to follow her heart or live by her mother’s. To write as her passion or be like all the other married women.

Drowning Daughter:

Lilith never knew she was different. Living on the sea as a child until she is offered a chance with a foster family to take her in. She learns who her true ancestors are and what power she carries. And the monster, she really is.

Sci-fiction Stories:

Paralyzed:

When Brianne discovered that she was a mutant in her mother’s womb. Everything changed. Life gets more complicated than it already seems. Brianne living with her husband, Zack, clueless of her powers. Playing the part of a nurse in a building where she could cure anyone. Brianne ventures out in the outer world as a world breakout comes to reality. When she discovers the worse of secrets, she must choose her fate or lose any understanding of what life is all about.

 

Dystopian/ Post Apocalyptic Stories

Ezra:

After an epidemic of nuclear radiation, a family of three loses a loved one. Ezra must hold his responsibility by taking care of Nia. Without Caitlin by his side, Ezra is afraid. He must venture out and find a safe haven before time goes against them.

Ditexa:

As the daughter of the president, it would seem like a dream come true. But when she discovers what her father has done, she must choose to protect her people. Or stand by and watch as the world around crumbles before her eyes.

Cancer:

Every person is born with a twin. One is good and one is evil. One day, Marlie is arrested for a crime she never did. Thrown into a hidden territory by the government, she has only heard stories of. When she arrives, she learns where all evil comes from and it’s not from earth.

Fantasy Stories:

The Phantom of the Sea:

A retelling of Ursula. Since her older brother, Tryon married, Ursula has been pushed to the side. Ursula has continuously felt unloved. Year by year her nieces are born and she feels as though her life is unmeaningful. But one day Ursula meets someone. Someone who will change her fate forever.

 

The Crown of Scales:

When Odessa discovers something from her past, will it ruin her chances of being the heir to the throne? Or is marriage even option? Can she even overcome the pressure to juggle them all at once?

 

 

Author Interiew

Greetings, owlnerds. This week, I am interviewing Niki Chapelway because her new book recently got released.

A Certain Sort of Madness by Niki Chapelway

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Synopsis: Alicia Hareton is crazy. But that’s nothing new. Her insanity is inherited from her mother, just like her magical abilities and her blood ties to the strange and alluring world of Amar. She’s spent her life on Earth and yet Amar has always called to her, an intoxicating melody that she cannot ignore. Returning to Amar would put her life in danger, but Alicia has never let such technicalities stop her before.

However, when her mother is captured due to her reckless actions, Alicia will do anything to rescue her. That includes trusting her grumpy, sarcastic imaginary friend, who claims he doesn’t know her and doesn’t seem that imaginary anymore. Or that trustworthy. Together, with the help of her cousin and a band of misfits, they partake in an extremely ill-advised heist on the faerie court in order to find a way to defeat the most powerful mage in all Amar, who also happens to be Alicia’s grandfather. But not everything in the faerie court is as it seems, and soon this unlikely group finds themselves fighting for their lives as well as the lives of those they love.

In a world of madness and magic, the lines between lies and loyalty are blurred and sometimes the only option you have left is to let the insanity loose.

Author Bio: Nicki has been writing since she was eleven years old. She published her first book A Week of Werewolves, Faeries, and Fancy Dresses at the age of fifteen, one year after she finished writing it. She enjoys reading, writing, swimming when she can, and fangirling (in other words: obsessing over other peoples’ stories almost as much as her own). She also enjoys watching TV, her favorite movies and TV shows include Doctor Who, Avengers, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, and Pirates of the Caribbean. Nicki currently resides in Ohio with her family of eight and two dogs, Rylie and Zoey.

 

The interview section:

  1. If you didn’t write full time, what would you do for work? I would probably choose to be a Police Detective, maybe even get into the FBI, working to solve crimes. I’ve also had stints where I wanted to be a journalist and an actress. Writing kind of lets me do all of those at once which is why I chose it.
  2. How long on average does it take you to write a book? Um… I’m going to say about six months to get the first draft done. Some books I’ve managed to write in less time than that and others have taken waaaay longer.
  3. What is your favorite part of the writing process? The brainstorming that takes place before I even start writing. Where I figure out the world, the plot, and the characters and what sort of relationships they will have. During that time, I can convince myself that this writing thing might not actually be such a bad idea after all.
  4. What is your least favorite part of the writing process? Honestly, they all take turns. It tends to be whichever one I’m doing at the time. But probably editing.
  5. Does writing energize or exhaust you? Haha, well it really depends on when you ask me. When I’m actually writing, the words are flowing, and everything is coming together then yeah, I’m energized. I’m so energized I could probably recharge a battery. But any other time… my brain will die from the sheer exhaustion.
  6. What is your writing Kryptonite? Procrastination, definitely. Nine times out of ten that’ll be what is standing between me and finishing my stories.
  7. How long did it take to write this book? This book is actually the quickest full-length novel that I’ve ever written. It took me only four months to get out the first draft. Then about two more months to get past the main edits and rewrites.
  8. Who is your favorite character(s) in your book? That’s a tough one. I love all of my characters and all for different reasons. I definitely relate to Alicia the most and Dante is the most likely to be married by me, but… I’m going to have to say Eugene. He’s just too adorable for me not to love him with all my heart.
  9. What kind of research do you do, and how long do you spend researching before beginning a book? It really depends on the book that I am writing. I have spent hours, days, weeks, lifetimes researching anything that has any sort of historical background. Which is why I tend to avoid writing historicals because I would never get them done. Most of the time the research is done in the middle while I’m writing and suddenly I wonder if my character would actually die from that gunshot wound so I have to take a quick break to visit my good friend Google. I did do quite a lot of research for my latest WIP, though, which is based off of Irish mythology. I spent a few days before I started it, gathering information about the various types of faeries.
  10. Do you try more to be original or to deliver to readers what they want? Is it all right if I say both? I suppose I try to be original mostly, but there are a few tropes that I just can’t resist.

And that’s it, folks. Comment down below, what author I should interview next.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oct. 8 Niki Chapelway

If My Heart Could Speak

Welcome back, owlnerds. This week, I will be sharing a poem wrote this past weekend. Enjoy!!!

If my heart could speak

If my life could collapse

The world would disappear

Into the thinness of nothing

If my cold feet

Couldn’t surface

The endless beings

Of this world and be on

I would take away everything.

My own being, my own mind.

My own fears and trusts

Life is like an existing pain with light

At the end of the road

And we are so afraid

Of that light

That we cast away

In the shadows

Of those lost souls

That refuse to believe in anything

And we become cursed

As our souls begin

To disappear in thin air.