Miss You: A Poem of Mine

writing

Welcome Back, new poem… Its a deep one.

They tell us the best of things always disappear

I miss your smile, your laughter, your face, your grey hairs, your silly jokes

I miss the pineapple ice cream even when I refused it

I miss the long phone calls

I miss the dog that cared for you

I miss the cards of your kindness

I miss you

It broke me when you laid in the hospital bed

Blood filled your clots and you transformed into someone I knew not

The crazy things you spoke of. The best friend, you were. I miss you.

It shattered my soul when they told me 

You were gone. Gone. Gone. Those words repeated in my head.

I shook it off because I wouldn’t believe it

You were gone

And I couldn’t have said goodbye

I couldn’t say I will miss you

I couldn’t say anything

My world tumbled to the ground

And I hid away

Hid the burn, the sting, the tears

I shut people out

The people, I actually cared for

Everything disappeared

Everything

When I finally  got up

Everything was gone

And I was left with hallucinations and nightmares

Lost friends, lost words, lost things

I had to act like everything ok even when I felt weakest.

I had to be bold even when I wanted so badly to hit a wall. Scream.

I had to continue the act and pretend.

It has been five years since you left us, left me.

And don’t know if I will ever see you again

You joked about those things

You joked that you knew Him

 But were you afraid of death?

Afraid of the punishment, He would bestow on you

All these thoughts sting me

It’s burning a little more every day

Why I closed the mentioning of your name

Because of the nightmares

Why did you leave me? 

Why you make me sad?

You left this world and left me

Abandoned me

I miss you

I miss you, Captain Nemo

I miss you, Grandpa

I miss you, Grandfather

I miss you, Grandpa Dobie.

I miss you….