Tag Archives: emotions

Emotions

Another poetry post. I honestly don’t care if any of you decide to unsubscribe. I am clueless what do with this blog. I feel like I failed by not doing weekly posts like I promised from the beginning.

So without further ado, here goes nothing.

I think the hardest thing to do is to breathe

To cry

To let your emotions break free

But it so easy to bury them

To pretend everything is ok

To look as though everything is under control

To hid it under your skin

When all you want do is scream

Hit a wall

Or maybe its this year

Where I release everything

That shatters my mirror

Hurts me worse than bruises

Emotions or overreacting

Like people will say?

I am just overreacting?

Or I losing myself completely?

Who knows anymore?

The fear now is if I will ever return to normal.

If normal is the new thing

Or will have this thing

Digging at me

My whole life

Destroy all the relationships

I hold dearly

Or will it ruin a new relationship

I come across.

Who knows anymore?

Thanks for reading.. maybe next week I will have a more uplifting post.. Maybe?

A Life Update through poetry

Five years I felt the pain of sorrow

And now I feel like its repeating itself.

The strings of my heart are being tugged

Even now I am hiding it from human’s eyes.

I had shut the world out.

Being a timid and emotionless person was easy to be.

I was safe.

I kept people safe from my uncontrollable emotions

Now I still hide in that shell.

Afraid of what people would say if I told them the truth

Would they care less?

Or just laugh at me?

Pity me?

I’m just a hidden shell of insecurities and trust issues.

From losing a loved one. To losing a close friend who was almost like sister.

Now knowing a childhood friend is gone away

And will be only seen them until I be in the grave.

I am afraid. I will never open up again. Afraid I will be my old self.

Being that awkward teen who only hanged out with her older brothers’ friends.

Confused who to talk to.

I am lost soul.

You look at me online and see me as outgoing.

But in reality, its all lies.

You would think I would cried over the sorrow I experienced

But I hid it under my skin

Until the sadness became nightmares and hallucinations

I think something wrong with me.

Why do I cry when I laugh?

And not when I am sad.

Is something wrong with me?

I probably should see someone for this.

But even again, they will probably put me on meds

And I can’t have that again.

I have seizures when I was a child.

And barely survived the daily medicine I had to take.

It was not bad.

But to have a repeated past

would honestly break me.

Seeking God is my top priority 

Praying and reading the bible is my only comfort now.

I pray and dream of the day I will be outgoing for only a moment.

But that seems so far away.

Now I must wait for the plans He has for me.