Welcome Back, new poem… Its a deep one.
They tell us the best of things always disappear
I miss your smile, your laughter, your face, your grey hairs, your silly jokes
I miss the pineapple ice cream even when I refused it
I miss the long phone calls
I miss the dog that cared for you
I miss the cards of your kindness
I miss you
It broke me when you laid in the hospital bed
Blood filled your clots and you transformed into someone I knew not
The crazy things you spoke of. The best friend, you were. I miss you.
It shattered my soul when they told me
You were gone. Gone. Gone. Those words repeated in my head.
I shook it off because I wouldn’t believe it
You were gone
And I couldn’t have said goodbye
I couldn’t say I will miss you
I couldn’t say anything
My world tumbled to the ground
And I hid away
Hid the burn, the sting, the tears
I shut people out
The people, I actually cared for
When I finally got up
Everything was gone
And I was left with hallucinations and nightmares
Lost friends, lost words, lost things
I had to act like everything ok even when I felt weakest.
I had to be bold even when I wanted so badly to hit a wall. Scream.
I had to continue the act and pretend.
It has been five years since you left us, left me.
And don’t know if I will ever see you again
You joked about those things
You joked that you knew Him
But were you afraid of death?
Afraid of the punishment, He would bestow on you
All these thoughts sting me
It’s burning a little more every day
Why I closed the mentioning of your name
Because of the nightmares
Why did you leave me?
Why you make me sad?
You left this world and left me
I miss you
I miss you, Captain Nemo
I miss you, Grandpa
I miss you, Grandfather
I miss you, Grandpa Dobie.
I miss you….